What Is a Submissive?
A Submissive is someone who willingly hands over control to another person. This can be either verbal or physical control. Submissiveness is not gender specific. Submissives can play their role full time, during specific sessions, or switch from Sub to Dom within sessions. A submissive is usually intoxicated by surrender not because he or she is weak, a sub willingly engages in activities that others might not participate in, yet they find to be exciting . Experiencing physical pain is just a small part of the enticements.
Types of Submissives
In BDSM, there are distinct levels in the dominance and submission relationship. Some simply engage in such activities out of interest or to spice up their sex lives. For those who participate more casually, fantasy role-playing in the bedroom that involves spanking, dirty talk or bondage might be enough to enhance pleasure.
Part-time subs are those who find the submissive lifestyle an important part of their lives, but do not incorporate it into other areas of their lives. They use submission as a means of letting go of control they may exert elsewhere. They may use submission as a temporary release or only engage in it with certain partners. These subs may also switch to being Doms at other times or simply have conventional sex outside of temporary subbing.
On the other hand, Full-time subs are hardcore players and may even see themselves living in a full time dominant-submissive relationship. They will the person be in control, if not in all, but most areas of their lives.
Dos & Don’ts
If you want to engage in submissive practices you should keep the following things in mind:
- Stay in the Know – To become a sub is a decision that should not be taken lightly for it allows others to exert control over you in ways you might not have anticipated. It is advised to learn about all that submission might entail. Consider reading about dominance and submission or reach out to online communities that cater to both experts and newbies. Attending a munch, short for “burger munch”, a casual social gathering for people who are interested in dominant-submissive lifestyle is another way to learn what it’s like to be a sub.
- Determine If You’re the Submissive Type- Submissive behavior may come naturally to true submissives. In general, a true sub is someone who desires to please a dominant person. A true sub is also turned on by being humiliated or overpowered. But if submitting to another person turns you off, a submissive role or lifestyle might not fit you.
- Know Your Limits- Engaging in a dominance-submission lifestyle can test and tease your comfort zone. It is advised to know and establish clear limits with the Dom and protect those limits. Enjoying submission doesn’t mean that you have no red lines. A true Sub-Dom relationship respects those red lines and works together to achieve pleasure for all who are involved.
Related Practices and Fetishes
The activities that the dominant and submissive relationship can engage into vary. These variations include:
- Objectification (human furniture): ex. The submissive’s body is used as a chair
- Public Humiliation
- Verbal Humiliation
- Obedience Training
- Sexual Slavery