What Is a “Mentor”?
A mentor is someone well-versed in BDSM practices and has decided to provide guidance to a pupil and earn their trust. The role of a BDSM mentor is to answer queries, provide or help find viable resources, assist the pupil in facing, and coping with personal struggles they encounter during the play. This can be a Dominatrix, Dom, or someone who has been sufficiently versed in lifestyle practices.
Why Is There a Need for Mentors in BDSM
Mentoring BDSM newbies is highly recommended especially since it involves different types of play, toys and equipment. Without proper guidance, newbies could end up harming themselves or compromising their safety.
Both S-types and D-types can be mentors, and newbies or pupils must find a mentor taking on the same role as theirs.
There were instances when some pretended to be mentors to take advantage of newbies. As a result, the BDSM mentorship gained huge backlash from the community. The question of whether mentors are truly necessary sparked a debate. Some argued that pupils can learn from fellow players.
Mentoring is also a common practice for people wishing to become Pro-Doms. Pro-Doms are often varying degrees of sex workers, which ads a level of difficulty and intensity to the learning process. Many professional Domina in dungeons offer mentoring session on a limited basis.
Tips for Finding an Appropriate Mentor
Not all mentors have sexual motives or desire their pupils. There are those who genuinely want to help new players develop and learn more about the BDSM culture. To aid new players, here are a few pointers that newbies can use as basis when choosing a mentor:
- Look for a mentor with similar beliefs, interests, and goals as you. New players should talk with potential mentors to gauge whether their style, perspective and experiences are a good fit for them.
- Make professionalism a deciding trait when seeking a mentor. As stated, there are mentors who tend to abuse their power and go beyond their supposed responsibilities and roles. Professional mentors who regard mentorship with importance and an ideal level of commitment ensures limitations will not be crossed.
- Familiarity with several BDSM concepts and practices, along with good social skills helps make the mentorship more comfortable, worthwhile, and enticing. A player with limited knowledge in BDSM as well as one who is difficult to mingle with defeats the purpose of mentoring in the first place.