What is a “Key Holder”?
A Key Holder (acronym KH) in the BDSM community is someone who holds the key to a specific bondage/chastity device or collar. Keyholding is considered a sacred responsibility and is a cornerstone of many Dom and sub relationships.
Psychology & Roles in Chastity Slavery
Despite being open to all genders, the role of being a keyholder is more common in heterosexual women. These women have in their possession the keys to a particular male chastity device.
Keyholders are in complete control of both the chastity device, the sexual organs and orgasm of their partner. They can even dictate whether their partners can take a shower and/or urinate. This kind of dynamic is rarer between Domme and sub and represents a much more collared dynamic.
The basis of this is much in control of a submissive’s sexual satisfaction and pleasure. Often, key holders like to wear the keys to their partner’s chastity and bondage devices as an accessory. Carrying the key around wherever the KH goes and wearing it somewhere reinforces their authority and sexual power over their sub.
The Responsibility of Being a Key Holder
More than being in-charge of the orgasmic release and sexual pleasure of their partner, key holders also hold the safety and well-being of their partner/sub.
Key holders should be careful not to cross the line when exercising their authority and power. Observing and adhering to the boundaries set within the relationship must be practiced at all times. Keys to the chastity devices should not be kept for extended periods of time. There should be a time frame describing the duration at which the sub should be wearing the device. The purpose of wearing a chastity device is to “train” subs on how to control their selfish desires. This often inspires a feeling of devotion and gratitude towards the dominant partner.
The role and responsibilities coupled with being a key holder is more psychological in nature than it is physical. Discussing the perimeters of using chastity devices during play provides a reference for both partners on what each other’s limitations and expectations are.
Related Practices & Fetishes
Chastity play is a sexual practice in BDSM that adapts abstinence as a way to boost sexual thrill, passion and desire among partners. In this type of play, chastity devices are used by the Dominant partners to control the sexual organs and release of their submissive partners.
Various kinds of chastity devices can be worn and used by practitioners. Cock cages, chastity piercings, and even softer reminders of ownership are all common for men. For women the most common use in media is a chastity belt. In recent years gear and toys focused on female chastity have evolved to include clothing, piercings, and bondage devices.
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