What is Consensual non-Consent?
Consensual non-Consent is a sub-variety of BDSM deeply rooted in dominance and submission. It is a form of roleplaying wherein one party acts as a dominator while the other party imitates the reaction of a non-consenting person. This is an interaction between two or more people with either side having one or more masters or submissives. The overall idea of Consensual non-Consent is an exchange of sexual advances that has overtones of non-reciprocity. The consent is given beforehand but for the duration of the sexual encounter, develops as if consent was not given. Safewords are employed, as per usual, to protect the submissive in the scene.
The idea and act of Consensual non-Consent involves meticulous preparation and a high degree of communication between partners. Due to the intensity of this kind of play, partners engaging in it should lay out their desires, hard no’s, and what they wish to achieve in living out a fantasy of this nature. It is an exercise of personal freedom between consenting individuals interlaced with acts of a sexual nature. The physical interactions among involved individuals cater to a psychological aspect of the roleplay which is either a need for freedom through dominance or the need for receiving control through submission.
Consent in this sense is something that allows another person to exercise his or her will over the other. As long as the encounter moves forward without any further mention of the initial consent and a more non-consensual or resistant play unfolds.
There are steps taken and agreements set for Consensual non-Consent activities:
- Duration – setting the length of time the encounter will last is important as it defines the length of dominance and sets a line between temporary, extended or indefinite submission. This duration can be quite tedious in terms of preparation. In fact, a document to outline the interaction can reach several pages and be dependent on how each scene is allocated time.
- Onset – the onset is part of the agreement for when and where a consensual non-consent interaction may take place. It can either be triggered by a location, a time of day, an action or even a trigger word.
- Acceptable and Non Acceptable Acts – outlining do’s and don’ts is critical in a consensual non-consent interaction. Defining what can and can’t be done allows for a smoother and mutually satisfying encounter. It can set limits on sexual acts/positions, scenarios/words and all other aspects of roleplay.
- Termination – the most important of all is the agreement for termination. This can be either a pre-agreed word (safeword), an event or situation like an urgent call or a breach of non-acceptable acts or can be as simple as the end of the encounter.
Practicality & Psychology
Consensual non-Consent as evidenced on how tedious it is is actually quite workable. It involves a lot of preparation but also has the foundations directly aligned with personal freedom in a controlled environment. Following rules and agreements allow participants to enjoy the roleplay without spoiling it for their partners.
There are many reasons a submissive may be attracted to this kind of play. It can be to safely live out a fantasy in which they can give up total control to someone else. Often there is an element of fighting against the advances of the dominant but their connection to them allows them to give up and give into them in a safe sexual way. It can also be a way of reasserting control after a traumatic non-consensual event in their lives.
While a Dom is needed for this kind of scenarios, those that seek this kind of play often are often red flagged. Enjoying it does not mean that a Dominant is bad in any sort of way, however. Consensual NonConsent play should be done at the desire and discretion of the submissive at all times.
A conscious avoidance of the limitations set forth should always be a priority. Getting carried away can lead to frustration and physical or psychological harm.
Consensual non-consent is a common role play fantasy, though it is considered one of the more extreme scenarios that one can participate in. Rope bondage is often included in play like this as it restricts the Submissive’s movement and allows the Dom further control.