What is Collared?
Collared is a BDSM term used to define someone who is playing a submissive in a Total Power Exchange or lifestyle relationship. The practice of Collaring is similar to being ‘married’ to the dominant. It symbolizes the complete transfer of control. The body of the submissive now belongs to the dominant.
Collars have been the symbol of ownership and submission. Submissive that are collared, intentionally surrender themselves to the dominant. The dominant is responsible for making sure of the safety and well-being of a collared submissive.
The collars are usually worn 24/7 and can only be removed with the permission of the dominant, except for medical emergencies and checkpoints. Some dominants may also not allow others touching the collar of their submissive. In other circumstances, a more traditional piece of everyday jewelry, similar to a collar, may be worn in its place.
Dos, Don’ts & Tips
- The process of becoming Collared may take some time.
- Some Dominant/submissive partners us the ‘three requests rule’, in which the submissive needs to ask the dominant to be collared three times. This practice allows the submissive to rethink their decision.
- The dominant may also provide a cooling period in between the requests to make way for negotiation and discussion. If the submissive still wants to pursue the collaring after the cooling period, then the dominant will perform the collaring.
- Collaring may be done in private or in public. It is considered to be an important and serious event for most D/s practitioners. Several D/s even perform the collaring in a ritualistic fashion, complete with witnesses, banquets, and celebrations.
- Total Power Exchange relationships usually involve a contract. The contract may include the duration and intensity of the power exchange, as well as the rules, limits, and agreements set by both parties.
- A safeword or action is usually discussed before the collaring ceremony.
Related Fetishes and Practices
Collared is an important part of D/s relationship, as well as Master/slave relationships. It is also used in BDSM scenes that imply ownership. Collars can be used simply during a scene or party to denote a submissive participant, rather than a lifestyle dynamic.