My extreme fear of vomiting made me too scared to leave the house – and left me in hospital
A WAITRESS has opened up about her crippling vomiting phobia - that left her hospitalised and too scared to leave the house.
Sian Maclean, 22, from Reading, developed a condition called emetophobia which caused intense anxiety about being sick or seeing others vomiting.
And the phobia became so intense she ended up in hospital after losing control of her body and triggering symptoms of a heart attack.
Now in recovery, Sian is now sharing her story to raise awareness for emetophobia.
She said: "Emetophobia is more than just being afraid of being sick, it controls your life in so many ways."
Sian first developed a fear of vomiting when she was just six years old, after someone was sick at the airport when she was about to leave for a family holiday.
And her fear gradually worsened - until it robbed her of ability to socialise with her school friends.
Sian said: "When I was younger, I’d ask to go home if someone else at school was feeling sick.
"I wouldn’t go to sleepovers with my friends, and I was worried about getting on a plane in case someone was sick as I wouldn’t be able to leave.
"The older I got, the more aware of it I was.
"Even after I was diagnosed, it was really hard to talk to people about it because they found it hard to understand and just say ‘I don’t like sick either’ – but with me, I can’t control my responses to it.”
Sian soon began researching her condition online before going to the doctors in 2015 to get some answers.
They performed tests on her stomach, including an ultrasound, in case the problem was physical - but soon realised it was a phobia.
Doctors then prescribed Sian anti-anxiety medicine to stop her feeling sick all the time, which helped.
She was also was offered hypnotherapy, which was unsuccessful.
Emetophobia is more than just being afraid of being sick, it controls your life in so many ways
Sian Maclean
Sian's condition deteriorated to the point she ended up in hospital after taking too much medicine.
She lost control of her body and had symptoms of a heart attack while she was vomiting.
Speaking about the ordeal, Sian said: "One time I ended up being sick a lot and I started having intense body movements, it was like I was having a heart attack because my heart felt like it was beating out of my chest.
“My mum rang an ambulance because I couldn’t control my body and I knew something was wrong and I was taken to hospital.
“It turned out it that I had a panic attack because I’d taken too much medicine, making me sick, and my body didn’t know how to react to it."
Sian's trip to hospital triggered a year-long "downward spiral".
She refused to leave the house in case she saw someone be sick or fell ill herself, causing her to lose her job and many of her friends.
She added: "My time in hospital was traumatic and afterwards I was terrified to get sick again, which sent me on a downward spiral.
"I spent the year after feeling awful and, looking back, it was shocking because it got to a point where I was terrified to leave the house in case I saw someone being sick or I felt sick.
"I hardly ate and it triggered a lot of anxiety, meaning I felt sick 24/7 and sometimes I’d go to my mum’s house at 1am to sleep on her sofa or bathroom floor in case I was actually sick.
"I got fired from my job because I phoned in sick constantly but it was hard to tell if I was actually feeling sick or if it was all in my head.
"My house became a state, my parents were upset because I wasn’t working, and I lost friends because I made up excuses not to go out with them.
"I had a lot of support from my boyfriend Max, but it did almost ruin my relationship with him because he was so worried that I wouldn’t leave my house and he thought I was being lazy.
"I was so upset with myself and I had no quality of life."
After spending a year practically housebound following her hospitalisation in September 2017, Sian decided to take a stand against her phobia in May this year.
It got to a point where I was terrified to leave the house in case I saw someone being sick or I felt sick
Sian Maclean
She was too worried to leave the house in order to have therapy so began to research exposure therapy she could do at home.
Over several months, Sian spent five minutes per day watching YouTube videos of people being sick.
Exposure therapy involves exposing someone a particular source of anxiety, such as vomit, which they would normally avoid.
The idea is that it will help the person overcome the fear because the more they see their trigger, the more normal it becomes.
What is emetophobia?
Emetophobia is a fear of vomiting or seeing others being sick.
Those who experience emetophobia may also fear being out of control while they are being sick or fear being sick in public, which can trigger avoidance behaviours.
It is a condition that is not widely diagnosed even though it is a fairly prevalent anxiety disorder.
It is more common for women to have a fear of vomiting than men.
An estimated 1.7-3.1 per cent of males and 6-7 per cent of females experience emetophobia.
Emetophobia varies enormously in how it effects people; most worry excessively about being sick even though they are less likely than the general population to be sick because of all the steps they take to avoid being ill.
For instance, some people may be unable to leave home if there are any tummy bugs going around and they will avoid family and friends who have an illness.
Source: Anxiety UK
Sian said: “It was horrid at first, no normal person would even want to watch videos of people being sick.
“The big thing for me was the noise of people being sick, and the first few times I started watching the videos I would go into meltdown after about three seconds.
“I forced myself to watch them once a day, and the more I watched and got myself into a positive mindset, I became less terrified.
“The change I’ve noticed is amazing and I can leave the house now.”
Sian is still working towards fully overcoming her emetophobia, with her main focus now being how to cope with vomiting herself, but she believes this will come with time.
She added: “I’m not cured, but I’m a thousand times better than I was before, and I want to work towards being ok if I’m sick.
“Last Christmas, my boyfriend was unwell and I managed to clean up his sick and look after him - I dealt with it quite well but still wore a mask and used bleach.
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“My advice to others with the phobia is that you’ve got to take it day by day.
“People need to take time to talk to others about emetophobia because then it makes a lot more sense and they understand it better.
“Emetophobia is just like any other phobia and is valid whether you believe it or not - you wouldn’t expect someone with a fear of heights to climb a mountain.”